Monday, July 6, 2009

Job Watchers/Beach Records Episode

Jayson, Zeke and Nick are gorillas and Peyton and Rosie are monkeys. The others are all people.


“Mommy”, said Jayson. “I want a job”. “Go look and don’t find one”, said his mom. “No”, said Jayson! “Nothing good”. “Dumb good”. “ In your dreams”, said Rosie, Jayson’s mom. “But the Eureka Paint company is looking for someone to help”. “You can go there to DESTROY it. When Jayson got there he went up to the counter to apply for a job. “What are your permanent records, said the manager”? “I know how to spell dumb”. “Good enough”, said the manager, named Phillp Green. I don't really. O.K. But I was kidding. I don't. Whatever. “You’re hired”. “House 24356 needs help”. “They need their living room and gym painted”. “O.K“, said Jayson, walking 0.2 miles per hour along the way. “Hello”, I’m Jayson”, your helper. When Mr. Stevenson’s house was done, it looked horrible. “Jayson”! “You painted you sitting around doing nothing.”. I’m calling Mr. Green. “Who’s that”? “Oh yeah, my dummy friend”. “Thanks”, said Jayson. Mr. Green fired Jayson immediately and hired Zeke, Jayson super-smart brother. “I am honored”, said Zeke in a T.V. interview. “Hi peoples”, said Jayson at the Blenders smoothie shop. “What do you do”? “Nothing classes”? “Great idea”! “No, said an employee, we make smoothies”. “I’ve got good flavors”, said Jayson, like nothing-annoying-dumb-slow-nothing-”O.K that’s enough”. “You don’t belong at Blenders”. You’re not right for our Banana Berry Blast and Superstar Strawberry style”. “Besides, the top story in the paper was you painting Mr. Stevenson’s house like a goof”. “He has 50 billion dollars, you know”. “He has tons of money because of the gold rush”. “But Shelden’s Candy Factory is up for wreck”. “The manager is the second dumbest person in Eureka”. “Who’s the dumbest”, asked Jayson? “You”, said the employee. “Oh”, said Jayson. At the factory Jayson got the job by saying hi. But, he put himself on the machine, and shredded himself and broke it. “Come to me, sticky”. “Crayson”! “You breaked it“! “You’re hired, I mean fired”. “Crustomers no eat annoying flavor”. Shelden don’t like kids like you”. “Goodbye”. “Did you get a job”, said his mom? “I got 2 but I got fired from both of them. “I knew you could never do it. “Mom, I got a job at the Eureka Paint company“, said Zeke! “Oh, I’m so proud of you”! “I will buy you those Chris Peterson math videos”! “Who’s Chris, asked Jayson. “The man you call Jake”, said Rosie! Jayson threw his mom out of the house and Zeke read Jayson a book about how to get a job. “Hi peoples”, said Jayson the next day! “What’s your name”, asked the owner? “Jayson Honkey”. “Oh yeah, the weirdo in the paper called himself Jayson Honkey. “We won’t hire you”. “What if I sit around and do nothing”? Don’t….. “Go away”, said the manager! After walking a little ways down the street, Jayson met up with Zeke but at Harden’s Repair Shop a boulder was falling from the sky. A customer was yelling help! He asked what to do. “Run out the front, yelled Zeke! The man ran out and made it by an inch. “Who said that, asked the man? “I did, said Jayson. “You are the best”! “By the way, I‘m Mr.Williams“. “As a reward, I will let you pick anything you want to do for a day with anyone. But I did it, said Zeke. As Jayson thought, he got an idea. “Can we leave, asked Christopher Peterson, the most famous man ever. “No”, said Jayson! “It’s toot fishing time”! “Whoever catches nothing wins nothing”! One million years later, Jayson caught nothing. “I win”! Jayson tooted off with the toots and the sculpture of Jayson doing nothing that Jayson made Chris make. “We’re trapped“, yelled Mr. Williams!
THE END

Beach Records
“Jayson”, yelled Nick Johnson, Jayson’s dad. “We’re gonna be late to our yearly trip to the beach“! “Coming”, yelled Jayson. In the car, they talked about what they would do there. “I’m going to collect seashells and try to beat my collecting record“, said Peyton, Jayson‘s sister. “I have 673 in my collection“. “I’m going for 1’000 in my next 2 trips“. “My record is 112 in 1 trip”. “I bet that’s beatable”. “Huh”, asked Jayson? “It means she can beat it”, said Nick. “Goofball”. “Zeke, how about you”, asked Rosie? I am going to try to surf”! “I have surfed over 8 waves in my entire life”. “And I’m only 3”! “That’s great Zekey”. “How about you Nick”? I’m going to try to swim out to the place where lots of nature lives “I am going to try to have the most fun”, said Rosie! “And how about you Jayson”, Rosie asked in a threatening voice. “I want to do nothing the most times! They then arrived at the beach. Luckilly for Jayson, Chris was there to teach Jayson how to do nothing. Now you can not annoy anyone for once, said Chris in an annoyed voice. “Thanks Jakey”, said Jayson. “You’re welcome. ”Now swim”! “Jayson, time for sunscreen”! “Sunscreen dries me out , so no sunscreen”! “Okay, but you’ll regret it”, said Rosie! “Woo hoo, said Jayson”, using his annoying dumb moves. “Look Jakey”! “I'm kicking sand”! “Daddy”, said Peyton. “I collected 121 shells in 34 minutes”! “Great job sweete”, said Nick. “Daddy”, said Zeke! I surfed 3 more big waves”! “So I got over 10”, said Zeke! “Great job Zeke”! “And I will set off on my journey to try to reach that deep blue spot over there, about 60 feet deep, over 1,500 feet away from here”. “But I know I can do it”. “Dad”, asked Zeke? “What exactly is the point of this journey”? “I am looking to discover unknown facts and report to Nature Rocks”. “What’s Nature Rocks”, asked Jayson? “Is it a nothing brand”? “Oh yeah”, it is. “No Jayson”. “It’s my company”! “Who cares”, said Jayson. “I did nothing, kicked sand in people's faces, and hurt a guy named Ouch! “I didn't swim too”! “That’s not a YEOWW! Jayson screamed. “JAYSON”! “My sunburn hurts”. “Wait”, it doesn’t YEOWWW! “You touched me, Jayson said to Peyton. “I don’t think I can go into the water”. “I have to go to the hospital”. After 4 and a half hours, Jayson was back, but could only build a sandcastle. “After he put nothing on the castle, and didn't build it either,he called it the best castle in history. “Mom”! “I made a castle”! “I should call the record books”! “No”! 56 billion 87 million 5 thousand 342 sand castles have been built EVER and I have never seen or heard one that was worse”! “Forget it”. “Because Peyton touched me I will be hurt and have pain forever”! “Wait, Peyton touched you”? “Yeah”, weeped Jayson. “Well remind me to get her that nature pack she wanted”! “I’m going to go swim with Peyton and surf with Zeke”! Nick returned from his journey with photos from the Circler fish, the fish that everyone wanted to find out about. “I kept it in a tank so we can take it home and study it. “Man am I going to be famous”! “I do not want to leave”! “I built a nothing sandcastle and mommy said it was horrible”! “Jayson, have you ever thought of using SAND in a sand castle”! “No”, said Jayson. “You are the dumbest person ever”! “What is 0+0”? “Uh, 80”. “How do you spell I”? “Uh, x9k7y”. “Incorrect”. “That should be reported as the dumbest things EVER! “Daddy”, said Zeke. “I did a 360 off my surfboard! “THAT should be reported to the Guiness Book of world records. “And so should this”, said Zeke as he touched Jayson. YEOWWWWW!
THE END

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